Updated 25-Feb-2005. Doogie left this message on my answering machine at home asking me to remove my collection of Doogie-isms from my web site since a Google on his name provided a link to this web page. I've decided that this collection of material, freely available on the UVM list server archive, is far too funny to be purged. Instead, I blacked out Doogie's last name.
This is a collection gleaned from the archives of the Vermont Skiing Discussion and Snow Reports Email distribution list maintained by a list server at the University of Vermont. (I'm a UVM alum) At last count, before he got kicked off the list for submitting an uncompressed 1.4 megabyte version of this work of art, there were well in excess of 1000 posts to the list by one Doug Sxxxxxx. This is something of a Dougie's greatest hits.
August 6, 1996 "Dougie the SkiVt-L virgin"
My name is Doug Sxxxxxx and I am new to this skiing list. I am 17 years old and live in Allentown Pennsylvania. I have a season pass at Blue mountain ski area which is 17 miles from where I live. I also ski Vermont and New York a few times a year. I skied 48 days this past ski season which is not bad for me considering that I did not ski after March 31st. Stowe and Sugarbush are my favorite Vermont ski areas. I am going to Vermont in Two weeks to look at the University of Vermont. That is my top choice for a college right now.
August 21, 1996 "Dougie's first visit to
I just got back from Burlington and I was wondering who all the hippies are? Are some of them UVM students? I saw them in the church street market place and in the small park. They kept going up to me and asking me for spare change. Are these Burlington residents or just nomads passing through for a few days?
August 21, 1996 "More on the same Burlington
visit thread from Dougie"
>*** Reply to note of 08/21/96 16:02
>From: David G. Weaver
>Subject: Hippies in Burlington
>Those fine young barbarians gracing our fine city are'nt hippies -
>they're Phreakin Phisheads
The Phishead women did not wear bras.
October 3, 1996 "The famous whose post. It is
thought that he meant wuss"
Jason you are a whose. I guess you will have to wait at least a month to ski on any easier terrain. Upper Cascade is not that tough and the snow will be great. If I did not live 6 hours away I would be at Killington tomorrow and ski from open to close.
October 8, 1996 "They try to shut off Dougie by
ignoring him but he ignores the flame and keeps firing"
> A couple recent posts have attempted to cut Doug a lot of slack.
>There was Paige explaining the importance of impressions made by
>e-mail, and then Eli had some nice words about Doug's sense of humour and
>his ability to give and take.
>I commend both of you for your open mindedness. I further commend our green
>plaid list/email/web God for respecting Dougs 1st Amendment rights.
>But I for one am sick and tired of Doug's posts. I have repeatedly E-mailed
>him directly requesting that he, among other things, not quote entire posts,
>learn to spell check, and try to contribute postings of substance in the
>spirt of skivt-l (ie, no more one liners). But he continues.
>Recently I have noticed that around 3:30 every day I can count on a stream of
>skivt-l mail. And guess who most of its from: Doug. He must get out of
>school and go directly to AOL (I can only imagine what his bill is like).
>I have tried to refrain from replying (or even acknowledging) Doug. I have
>noticed that any time anyone mentions him, or replies to his dribble, we can
>count on more dribble. This post will be no exception, I'm sure, and I
>apologize for that. If I had more time I'd get the subscriber list, edit into
>a VMS-mail dist list (minus Doug) and send this directly to each subscriber,
>just to avoid Doug's response.
>I think if we want Dougs postings to subside, we need to all refrain from even
>acknowledging him. I for one will try harder than ever to not reply to
>anything he may write. I will also refrain from mentioning him in any further
>Will others please join in this quest to drown out Doug in silence?
Brad I am on Oasis and I access my E-mail via netscape. It costs 20 dollars a month for unlimited internet time on Oasis. I do go on the computer and check my E-mail everyday after school. Dont worry once the ski season starts I will be rushing home to do my homework then I will drive the 17 miles up to Blue mountain for a few hours of night skiing. I also never miss a weekend day of skiing. I love getting home from school and seeing 40 pieces of e-mail in my mailbox. I have a question for all the members of this list. I noticed that barely any posts or replys are submitted at night or on the weekend. Do most of you subsrcibe to the list through your computer at work?
October 9, 1996 "Dougie tells the world how smart
>PS: Doug have you ever taken a standardized test- PSAT,SAT,Driver's,
>Eye etc.? How did you score?
I got an 1160 on the March SATs 630 Math 530 Verbal. I am taking them again on Saturday. I got a perfect on my written and road drivers test. I did not pass the eye exam for my drivers liscense. I have to wear glasses when I drive. I also wear glasses when I play golf. Ask me any skiing statistic and I wil know it like that. I have the vertical drop memorized at over 100 ski areas. Does Killington really get more snowfall due to the horseshoe shape of the six peaks of Killington? I heard Killington is also going to have the best snow conditions in New England due to the lighter snow that they will be blowing out of their snowguns. If you want to see some real K-ton devotees you should go on the ASC cyberlodge. They all think Mount Snow gets more snow than Stowe and Sugarbush.
October 10, 1996 "Dougie helpin' out with the
Didn't you realize there was no backside I would have noticed. I hope your leg heals soon. You should sue Deer Valley.
October 14, 1996 "As a response to someone's trip
report on skiing in Europe on extreme off piste stuff"
You only skied 5 runs in 7 hours. I guess the lines are long in Europe.
November 23, 1996 "Dougie learns that it's
politically incorrect to sue ski areas"
Seen in the Los Angeles Times, 11-22-1996- "A San Bernardino appellate court has fined an Orange county lawyer more than $5,900, PLUS the other side's costs, for filing a frivolous lawsuit against a ski resort after he broke his leg on a ski slope."
Finally, a message that people should be responsible for their own actions!!
January 16, 1997 "Geoff cringes. Dougie is
admitted to UVM. Alumni contributions cease!"
I was accepted early decision to UVM. I got my acceptence letter on December 23rd. I got a UVM decal in the mail today for my car. I will not be skiing in Vermont until early March when my Dad and I are skiing Stowe and Sugarbush for 4 days total. I am Going to Whiteface mountain in three weeks with my school ski club and I will be at Hunter in the next few weeks. I have been skiing Blue mountain a lot lately though. I have skied 24 days so far this season including 22 days at Blue mountain since they opened in mid December.
August 26, 1997 "Dougie goes off to UVM with his
On Thursday my parents are driving me up to Burlington and on Friday morning I am moving into my room at UVM. I am in the School of Business Administration and I am getting a new computer up there through UVM on September 5th so I will resubscibe to the list. I look forward to meeting many of you this ski season in Vermont. I will get a piece of green plaid to wear. It feels like it is the beginning of the ski season already because I am packing all my ski stuff to take up there. I have enjoyed being on this list and don't worry there won't be any Blue mountain updates. Happy Skiing
October 27, 1997 "Dougie the future Wall
Streeter, definitely NOT a weatherman"
I want to get an MBA in Finance. I would like to invest other people's money. I have been following the stock market since I was 12 and I have invested some of my own money in the stock market. I like to look at different emerging markets including China and pick stocks and see how well I would have done if I actually invested real money. I want to save lots of money every year ( no heli skiing) and invest it and retire young. By the time I am out of college I will basically be able to work anywhere. Before people in Finance were restricted to big cities but each year more and more people work out of their home or in small offices in small towns. Weathermen do not make as much money as I want to make and I am only interested in Winter weather.
October 28, 1997 "Dougie before he learned that
I think Les Otten is a great guy. Without him Sugarbush wouldn't have all the high speed quads and they wouldn't be open in October. My buddy from southern Vermont said Otten only pay's himself 4 million dollar's a year and for all the ski area's he own's and all the good thing's he has done to Killington and Mount Snow he is making a pittance.
November 18, 1997 "Dougie responding to a flame
that he raced Boston Bob"
Re: Boston Bob & Flatlander Dougie -- GOD help us!
>Sorry, folks, I've been biting my tongue for months, but I can't stay silent with such blatant disregard
>for the safety of others. Little Dougie keeps demonstrating what an irresponsible, selfish kid he still is.
>I really hope I never meet him!
Why do you say I am an irresponsible selfish kid, I am just someone who likes to ski and I wanted to see if myself (an 18 year old) could ski down an easy blue faster than Boston Bob who is middle aged.
January 17, 1998 "Dougie proving that he never
learned right from left"
When I got my ski's tuned up last week they too off the sticker that said which ski was for the right foot. I have skied the last 4 days not knowing which ski goes where. Is that bad? How can I tell which is which?
January 26, 1998 "Dougie, master trail
Late afternoon, went over to the Gondola, had a nice run down Chin Clip, which I'd never seen open. Embarrassed myself pretty well by taking some much-narrower-than-a-ski-length woods trail to the skiers left of Chin Clip. It is totally dumb now that I know Chin Clip is a full trail, but I swear, I thought the sign was pointing at this little narrow path. And there were tracks down it. Well, a couple of turns in, it becomes obvious that A) this narrow path was not a trail, and B) I was not going to be getting out of it any easy way. Picked and pricked and side stepped and climbed my way down over numerous fallen branches. I was actually proud that I made it all the way (a total of 50 yards?) without getting tangled and stuck-definitely my best ski run ever that did not include one single turn or at any time exceed 1 mile/hour. Near the end, when I could at least see a path back to chin clip, but still wasn't sure I could make it, I called out to a passing patroller. He patiently waited (he was on his sweep) while I creaked my way out of the limbs and trees. Didn't bawl me out or anything, but man, did I feel like a jerk.
February 4, 1998 "Dougie, putting his foot in his
mouth in a BIG way"
Everything south of Sugarbush should be part of Massachusetts.
February 11, 1998 "Dougie the sexist"
I know many of you on this list are either ski instructors or ambassador's. What kind of discount's do you get on ski area services like food and stuff from the ski shop. Do your families also get free season passes? At Blue mountain all employees' and their family member's got a 50 percent discount on food. My one friend whose mom worked in the ticket office would sometimes get me half price food so it was like eating at McDonalds with a view of the slopes. The guys that scanned passes only had to do it once a week and they got free season passes for their whole family. Maybe I will be an ambassador someday (or make my wife be one) so I don't have to spend a couple thousand dollars for season passes
March 6, 1998 "Dougie demonstrating the fine art
Yikes I don't see the reson why people sit on their poles. It's uncomforterable.
March 9, 1998 "Dougie defending skiing on closed
If I want to ski a closed trail I will ski a closed trail and I will pay the consequences. Nobody gets on other peoples backs about skiing closed trails. If you look through the archives many people on this list ski closed runs. I won't even go into under age drinking because it is absurd. I think Jerry Abramson is a loser for even saying that he will forward my post about buying beer ( my 18 year old friend bought it) to the police. I only brought that up because every other post has reebs or drink specials in it. Pretty soon he is going to be criticizing people who drove fast to the ski area's. As for disregard for rules, if any of the rules I supposably break upset you personally then I think you have a problem. Grow up Jerry Abramson.
April 16, 1998 "Dougie, the philanthropist"
I personally would not buy a share in Mad River Glen because I feel that the ski area will be preserved without my help. With or without the purchase of a share I can still ski Mad River Glen for their regular price. Mad River Glen really does not offer any incentive to shareholders with respect to free lift tickets or discounts on food. If I have the means when I am older I would like to buy a member ship into a type of skiing country club that is restricted to members only. There are a few of them out west that are very expensive but having the mountain to yourself everyday with fresh powder can't be beat. Ski Windham in New York used to be a private club called Cave mountain. I guess Mount Greylock is a private club but I would like to be a member in a club located on a big mountain.
October 4, 1998 "Dougie flames someone who posts
a Virus Alert to the hallowed SkiVt-L"
I know you are this bad-ass extreme skier but don't send this kind of shit to the list.
October 7, 1998 "Dougie requests some ASC
coupons. Here's a funny thread of SkiVt-L member replies"
>>In a message dated 10/7/98 10:06:09 PM Eastern Daylight Time, DSxxxxx@BSADPO.EMBA.UVM.EDU writes:
>> I could use them for Sugarbush, my mailing address is. Thank you very much.
>>424 Tupper hall
>>The University of Vermont
>>Burlington VT 05405 >>
>Now I know where to redirect all my unwanted junk mail:-)PS
Yes don't forget about all those subscription cards that fall outof the magazines, & the CD's Dougie always wanted for a penny! ;-)
October 14, 1998 "Now that they have his address
>From: Sports Gear Direct Co. <email@example.com>
>Date: Wednesday, October 14, 1998 10:55 AM
>Subject: SGD Catalog and Website
>Excuse the intrusion. I see your name all the time on the Ski Vermont
>chat room. You bought some skis (Atomic VAR01 and RD Valdez) from us
Yup, I'm quite a blowhard, aren't I. The Atomic VAR01's are sweet in
the powder. A very popular powder ski in New Zealand, I've heard. Keep in
mind that I, myself, have been featured in Powder, as well.
>last year under the name "the frugal yankee" I believe. You'll be
...and a cheap bastard, too.
>getting you new catalog soon as they just mailed. We also have a
>website up now at www.geardirect.com. It is text only right now, but
>should set up for secure interactive transactions by Nov 1.
>Anyway, the reason I'm bothering you is that the Ski Vermont chat room
>seems like a bunch of very active skiers. We'd like to let them know we
>exist. If any of them are interested in receiving our catalog we'd like
I'm pretty sure that you can see yourself mentioned in the archives as
Ski hard on that list or else you'll be labelled as a Whose. Remember,
this and First Tracks!
http://www.fortunecity.com/olympia/hill/82/firsttracks.html are the meal
tickets to ski adventures anywhere in the Galaxy. Remember, if you join the
SkiVt-L list (even though you're from COLORADO, you might find some
worthwhile stuff, here) and you advertise, you will get the flaming of a
lifetime - no commercialism, please. First Tracks! is also looking for an
>to send them one, but we're relatively new at this and don't want to
>offend anyone by not using the proper protocol. So if you were happy
>with our service and wouldn't mind letting the group know who we are and
>that we would like to send them our catalog and have them visit our
>site, we'd appreciate it and would send you a nice Raichle long sleeve
>sweater or give you a deal on something else we have in stock.
>Let me know.
Here's the one you should contact:
424 Tupper hall
The University of Vermont
Burlington VT 05405
He's THE MAN on this list and a sharp business person, as well. Deal
with him and you'll get a good dose of warm East Coast hospitality.
Mark, The Frugal Yankee
October 15, 1998 "It continues..."
I got this e-mail from SGD, Mark thank you for giving out my e-mail
Doug:Forgive the intrusion, Mark Renson told me you were the one to contact
and gave me the Email address. Mark bought some bargain skis from us a
while back and since then we've seen his name on the SKIVT-L. I started
SGD back in 1992 as the only ski catalog in the USA. We're still the
only catalog that features everything you need for skiing and
snowboarding. By Nov 1 we'll have a secure, fully interactive website
up also (right now it is text only).
We're a small shop located in Boulder, CO trying to stay alive against
the chains and provide good service and prices for those that can't get
them where they live. Anyway, I was wondering if there was a way we
could let the SKIVT-L users know that SGD exists. I realize your site
is noncommercial, but all I'm proposing is that we provide our Email
address and 800# so they could receive our catalog if they want one.
I'm pretty new to the web, so I apologize if this is an unwelcome
intrusion or a breach of etiquette, but would appreciate a response at
your earlies convenience. Please Email or call at 800-353-7432 if I can
provide more info.
Kevin Edwards, Pres.
October 16, 1998 "And Dougie strikes back!"
Here is a letter I sent back to Sports Gear Direct.
> I forwarded this e-mail to the ski Vermont list.That's 375
> avid skiers mainly located in the northeast. Do I get anyfree stuff
> for that??? I see there's a big snowstorm brewing in theRockies, have
> you made any turns yet??? >
> Regards Doug,
Here is his response.
Sure, give me an address and we'll Fedex out a goodie or two. What size
do you take in shirts?
Thanks for the help
Kevin Edwards, Pres
October 20, 1998 "And Dougie scores (small
I got my Fed Ex package from SGD in the mail today. I received
a Raichel sweatshirt that was on sale for $14.95 along with 6
catalogues. The shirt is a small and I asked for an extra large but it
was nice that they sent me the shirt. I can find a short person that
can wear the shirt.
November 25, 1998 "Not from Dougie but included
here as an example of ongoing SkiVt-L sniping"
> > YMMV = "your mileage may vary"
> > IOW = "in other words"
> > FWIW = "for what it's worth
> > LOL = "laughing out loud"
> > TIA = "thanks in advance"
> IIRC = "if I recall correctly"
> AFAIK = "as far as I know"
> RO[T]FL = "rolling on [the] floor laughing"
> RO[T]FLMAO = "rolling on [the] floor laughing my ass off"
> IANAL = "I am not a lawyer" [i.e. don't take this as legal advice]
> RTFM = "Read the fucking manual"
> FAQ = Frequently Asked Question
> TLA = Three-Letter Acronym
REEB - Renaly Excreted Excitatory Beverage
SKI - Savings Killing Industry
DOUGGIE - Does Our University Give Grammar Instruction Ever
DOUG - Dumb Obtuse Uvm Goober
SKIVT - Socially Kindred Intraverts Voiding Time
PhD - Probably Has Doctorate
ASC - Another Shitty Company
SB - Simply Bogus
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